The Beginning of my Multihood...

​I never thought I would be a Mother.  I always considered myself an ARTIST, or a WRITER, or a STUDENT—depending on my circumstances…but never a Mom.  Then in July 2017, my Mother was airlifted to the hospital with severe fungal pneumonia.  She almost died.  As a result, my cycle got all wonky.  At the end of that month, my husband and I were celebrating our 5 year anniversary…my normal rhythm method calculations were all off…one thing led to another…and I got pregnant. 
Let me state here:  I AM PRO-CHOICE!  It’s not like I didn’t have options.  But something deep down inside of me was telling me:  THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!  My husband and I spent weeks discussing our options and decided to keep it. 
I had gone through my darkest hours over the last couple of years--between battling a rare kidney issue two years before; dealing with my first husband and a prior lover dying tragically in the same month last year; and finally being face-to-face with my own Mother’s mortality this last summer!  I had gone into the Underworld and stayed for a bit.  Upon my arrival back on the surface, my world had changed—just like Persephone in the ancient myths. 
But what did it all mean?  Had it just been a series of random events?  I don’t think so!  To give you a little background:  I had had a tumultuous upbringing, had been the victim of rape, and had so many hours in therapy I couldn’t keep count.  After much study and spiritual exploration I had also written two books—one on pagan rituals across cultures and one on transforming your life through alchemy.  Then I started my PhD in Depth Psychology after going through three horrifying kidney surgeries to save my life.  I had worked and worked to refine myself, and finally dedicated my life to helping others do the same.  So, when I ended up pregnant at the end of a long trek through the darkness—I knew that it had a purpose.
THAT PURPOSE WAS: MULTIHOOD!  What is MULTIHOOD you ask?  It is EMBRACING the MULTIPLE ARCHETYPES you house within you.  Why is this so important?  Well, that is a bit more complicated.  When a woman becomes a MOTHER, she has been conditioned to believe that that is all she is.  And that simply isn’t true.  I have been in the midst of many a new Mom who are in the throes of a complete mental breakdown because they’ve lost who they are.  When I found out I was pregnant that overpowering archetypal force of the GREAT MOTHER swooped in and attempted to convert me too!  But through my psychological training I saw that there needs to be more to each of us than just MOTHERHOOD.  First of all, it isn’t healthy for the woman, and second, it isn’t healthy for the child.  How many people have you heard of who have Mother-complexes from dealing with overbearing Moms?  Psychological literature is just teeming with the concept of the Devouring Mother and how she destroys a child’s sense of Self.  Then there is the depression, burn-out, and more that comes with 100% dedicating yourself to just being ONE thing.
So, as I start to create a program to help women move from MOTHERHOOD to MULTIHOOD—I thought I’d share my journey with you.  Being on the pregnancy side of being a Mom, I know that my perspective can be a bit skewed.  I don’t have to get up every hour or so for feedings.  I’m not changing diapers or keeping a little human alive.  But, I AM in the process of setting up schedules to make sure that I have time for my Inner Warrior, Inner Witch, Inner Lover and Inner Artist to have time to do their thing!  I do know that I’m talking to my husband about having time to do my art, write, and meditate.  And I am setting up an inner attitude where I remain important in this process. 
In the next post I will discuss my MAGICAL process in all of this (see the picture below).  While doing pagan-type things will by no means be a requirement for working on your own MULTIHOOD, those things have shaped my world, and thus I think they are important to talk about. 
I look forward to hearing your thoughts and starting a conversation with you in the comments below!  SO MANY BLESSINGS! –Rev. P